In his efforts to hide his happy, fulfilling life from his coworkers, Braxton has even resorted to lying.

“Just yesterday, somebody asked me about my last temp job,” Braxton said. “It ended in May, but I told them it ended in June. See, after it ended, I took about a month off and just kind of dicked around, traveling around Europe until my money ran out. I knew not to mention that to people who won’t be able to do anything like that until they’re 65.”

Though Braxton said he sympathizes with his coworkers, he added that the decision to pursue a prestigious, high-paying career path was entirely their own.

“They wanted to go for the brass ring and really live the good life,” Braxton said. “What they don’t seem to get is that the key to living the good life is to avoid that brass ring like the fucking plague.”